A Broken Hip and Blessings

My Dad broke his hip early Sunday morning. He was restless Saturday night and walked around from 11 pm on at the assisted living/family care home where he lives, followed closely by the caregiver. Then at 3:30 am, when he was just out of the caregiver’s reach, he stepped back a bit, lost his balance, fell, and broke his hip. He, Mom, and I spent the rest of that night and all day Sunday at the hospital. The director of Dad’s assisted living/family care home got to the hospital (from her house) even before we did, and stayed throughout the morning. Her presence at the hospital was an incredible comfort to Dad. His pain was completely under control all day thanks to a nerve block, and he had surgery to repair it on Monday morning. It was a hairline fracture in the neck of his left femur so it isn’t as bad as it could have been.

It is more fun, and probably healthier, to focus on the positives of the situation than to spend time providing all the gory details. So here is a non-comprehensive and still growing list of things for which I am grateful this week.

Even though we were in the busiest and most critical part of our five year grant cycle at work, my coworkers were supportive and totally had my back.
Even though I’d been largely unavailable to my family summer (except during our trip to Paris, TX) due to work responsibilities, my husband and kids were supportive of my need to be with Mom and Dad and also totally had my back. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad encouraged me to take the time I needed to avoid leaving both my work colleagues and my family completely in the lurch. I am so blessed to have all of these generous people in my life!
Our friend who put together some amazing food and then even drove me to the hospital to deliver it to Mom late at night so that she wouldn’t starve when I was too tired to drive safely.
Our friend who picked up my hubby at work when I accidentally left him stranded there.
Our friend who brought us a delicious gluten-free dinner in such quantities that it lasted several meals, including some taken to the hospital for Dad.
Our friend who has taken or met our kids at the pool with her awesome boys almost every day since Dad’s fall.
The fact that my parents and sister who lives in another state have gotten the chance to talk to each other every day since Dad’s fall. She may even get to come visit next week.
The bazillions of friends who have posted supportive messages on our Facebook timelines. We read them to Dad and brightens every time, amazed at how many people care about and are praying for him. He even remembers who some of them are, making it extra wonderful.
The director of Dad’s assisted living/ family care home, who has been a part of our family. After his fall on Sunday morning, she got from her own bed to the hospital more quickly even Mom and I. She stayed by our side until all of the testing had been done and a plan for treatment was in place. She has been to the hospital for an extended time every day since, and even stayed overnight on Monday so that Mom and I could go home (my grant proposal at work was due on Tuesday and Mom was exhausted). All at no charge.
The director of Dad’s home said from the moment that we arrived at the hospital that upon discharge, “We want him to come home.” She is planning to hire someone to come in whose sole job will be to provide one-on-one care for Dad for as long as needed, and to learn and train her staff on the physical therapy that he will need. This way they will be able to supplement whatever PT the insurance will pay home health to do. She began today by observing and meeting with the inpatient PT. She also understands how upsetting and confusing it is for Dad when lots of people he doesn’t know come and go and tell him what to do. He feels comfortable at his home and will do anything in the world for its director, even more than he’ll do for Mom and me. He will even dance! You have to know him to understand how huge that is.
The caregivers at Dad’s place, who each called and asked when they could come and sit with Dad so that we could take a break. At no charge.
The hospital cafeteria has gluten free, dairy free, vegetarian Kind bars. And Dr. Pepper.
Dad is still a good eater. We have been feeding him, and he has eaten every bite of every meal. I said in front of his assisted living group home’s director that if you held the plate up for him, he would lick it clean. The director added, “Heck, if you got close enough, he’d lick you!”
Several health care providers at the hospital have gone out of their way to tell us that Dad is “obviously well-loved and well cared for.” Apparently, not all elderly, sick people from facilities who present at the hospital are clean, smell good, have neatly trimmed hear, and clean finger- and toenails. It’s wonderful to receive such validation of the choice we made for his care.
Even though he often doesn’t know the people in the room, Dad feels loved. That was evident when a nurse reached over him to adjust his IV line, and he puckered up to kiss her on the check. (The surprised nurse responded by cheerfully saying, “No, we’re not doing that now!”)
A beautiful view out of Dad’s upper story hospital window. The view of wispy clouds in the pale blue sky is reminiscent of flying in an airplane. And Dad has noticed.
The hospital has free parking right outside the front door of the hospital. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you are constantly coming and going, including after dark and alone, it really, really is.
Everyone at the hospital has been patient and kind to all of us. They treat Dad like a real person even though he has fairly severe dementia. They talk to him instead of over him and then wait for his response, if he feels like one, no matter how nonsensical it may be.
Dad’s aide today was a man Mike and I first met when volunteering at a local AIDS residence nearly 20 years ago. He was wonderful then and he is wonderful now. What a treat to see him again! Our friend had such a loving and supportive way of interacting with the residents back then. I never dreamt back then that my Dad would be the recipient of his sweet nature when we needed it most.
The health care providers listened carefully to us when we told them which medicines make Dad even more confused and distressed. You’d think that would be a given, but it was most definitely not our experience after his knee replacements a few years ago.
Dad has a very high pain tolerance, likely due to a terrible motorcycle accident over 60 years ago that left him with a permanent limp. Therefore he has not had much pain this week, other than at the time of the fracture and when actively working with PT.
Two anonymous angels who donated blood that was given to my Dad when his blood volume and blood counts dropped.
That the surgeon was able to do the surgery with only a spinal block and Ultram, allowing us to bypass the general anesthesia that had such disastrous effects on his cognition after knee replacements several years ago. The anesthesiologist understood our concerns and even though he has some issues that could make a spinal block challenging, they made it work anyway. Similarly, they have managed to avoid post-op narcotics, in order to prevent further worsening of his confusion.
We learned that after surgical repair, broken hips, especially hairline fractures like Dad’s, are no longer necessarily linked with a poor prognosis.
And last but not least, Dad’s Alzheimer’s has completely wiped out all memory of the fall, hip fracture, and ensuing horrendous pain. Finally, an upside to Alzheimer’s!